***There is no contest as to who the best NBA team is. That would be the New York Knicks who are world champions.  Today’s Friday Email is all about “Contests.” Have a great weekend!***

When you’re competitive about something, you may join a contest such as Joey Chestnut does every 4th of July for a hot dog eating contest (you’ll never want to eat a hot dog again if you watch it).  Someone called me at work and said I have a dumb question.  I explained to them what my teacher told me there are no dumb questions (but if there was a contest for dumb questions I would win).  I was handing my own birthday card around the office for people to sign it if they had missed it.  I saw some people I liked didn’t sign it (It was a personal contest to get everyone I liked to sign it).  Junior sees me and Moise walking together to the back.  He says why do you have to be together?  What’s this you’re having a contest to break us up Junior?  If there was a contest for having the biggest dryer machine in your house, Moise would win (I never saw so many clothes in one dryer at one time).  He kept digging clothes out of there for what felt like an eternity.  Abby wanted to water the plants in her yard but was afraid to overwater it.  This is not a contest to drown a plant, Abby.  She missed the plant and watered the table they were on (close enough).  Joshua said he will buy me a Lamborghini.  There is no contest at who my favorite person is Joshua.  Abby sang happy birthday to me and started the “Are you 1, are you 2, are you 3.” You may have to keep going for a while, Abby.  Abby asked if I’m 26.  Yes, let’s go with that and not contest that answer.  Moise asked me how to say something politely.  You ask ME how to be polite?  In a polite contest, I don’t think I would win.  Moise says I have to ask you something personal.  Ok?  He starts telling me about his situation.  I already know all this Moise.  You tell me everything.  This is not a contest, but I know more about you than I know about myself.  Moise was calling me on my cell phone while we were both at work in the same building.  He asked where I was.  I’m in the kitchen.  He says no you’re not I am.  I don’t see you. I’m walking in Moise. Why are we still on the phone with each other when we’re in the same room?  A contest to see if anyone notices?  Abby wanted to know if my mom paid for my new phone.  I said yeah, you tell her that.  Abby gave me a high 5 and Joshua gave me a burp (maybe he wants to join a burping contest)?  I sneezed and then Joshua and Abby fake sneezed to mock me.  We have a sneezing contest.  Abby gave me a container to take home and said I can have it for $100.  For an empty container?  There is no contest with Abby’s Inflation Rates.  Junior was saying how someone he knows is an instigator and then looks at me and says just like you.  Moi?  I guess if I was in a contest for biggest instigator at Savin, I may win it (maybe I should rename the Friday Email “Weekly Instigation.”).  I was naming reasons I like coming to Savin.  The people was one of them.  Junior says Moise, of course.  He said there was no need to state the obvious.  I started naming every employee in the building (except Junior).  He gave me a not so nice look.  Now when it comes to doing your timesheet, just remember it’s not a popularity contest that you need to win by doing it.  It’s for your own personal satisfaction.  Please do your timesheet on time today and remember you’re one of the reasons I like coming to Savin if your name isn’t Junior.

Have a great weekend.

Anthony