broodjets

***Most calendars present Sunday as the 1st day of the week.  Moise said it himself, and the calendar agrees with him.  Then why is Saturday and Sunday called the week”end” Moise?  He said no the weekend is Friday and Saturday.  So why am I at work today sending this Friday Email out?  Today’s Friday Email is all about “Presentation.” Have a great weekend!***

We’ve all had to make a presentation before in school.  You go up in front of the class; pretend you know what you’re talking about and then sit down as fast as you can before any annoying student attempts to ask you a follow-up question (at least that’s how I did my presentations).  Junior saw me carrying 2 iced coffees.  I wasn’t trying to present one of them to him.  He said do you drink both?  I said I throw some of each out.  He said you are a weird kid.  Moise said good job being a kid.  Junior can I not present to you that I am an adult, not a kid?  Moise presented me with a problem he had.  He was stressing about it, and I was playing it off like it’s no big deal.  He said this will be my problem though because I will get blamed.  I said that’s exactly why I’m not stressed about it.  Moise asked me to check something he did for work and if I think it looks presentable.  I said do you really want to ask me about something being presentable?  Am I presentable?  My life is a mess.  He said you are worth more than you think (but the real question is am I worth more than Junior thinks).  I was presenting myself with the idea that nobody likes me one day recently.  This person doesn’t like me.  That person doesn’t like me.  Then I realized that Abby likes me.  Nothing else matters.  Junior was saying Moise over examines things.  He’s more annoying than anyone.  Congrats Moise, let’s present you with the most annoying person award.  He said he won proudly.  Moise said he must be somewhere at 6.  For fun I look up on MapQuest and tell Moise if you left right now, you’d be 13 minutes late and arrive at 6:13 and you haven’t even gotten up yet (so to be exact if you teleport yourself instantly from your desk to your car you’ll make it by 6:13).  I’m so helpful and encouraging with how I present things.  I check back to update Moise, and it says 6:25 now.  He said you’re not helping, don’t do that.  A minute later I checked and it says 6:26 now.  He sighs and finally gets up to leave.  I am good at motivating people.  I’m at Junior’s desk.  He is presenting his desk drawer open. Junior it’s a mess.  He simply shuts the drawer without saying a word.  I said that’s your solution.  He said yes.  Moise was at his desk saying, “I have to kill you.”  I’m thinking what did I do?  Should I call HR?  I get up and go to his desk behind me, and he has a big bug he’s battling.  Oh, the bug.  Joshua and Abby love the trampoline they got this summer.  Moise and I used it with them.  Abby was trash talking telling me I jump like a baby, so I jumped high to show off and then crashed and lay there for a minute while she thought it was funny (so much for sympathy).  Moise and I were sitting on the trampoline tired after 5 minutes.  Joshua and Abby kept saying keep going.  No, we’re old and we’re tired.  Now when it comes to doing your timesheet, just remember that I present to you a good reason to do it every single Friday (I won’t have to do to you what Moise did to that bug on Monday).  Please do your timesheet on time today and remember if you think you can outdo kids on a trampoline better than Moise and I could go ahead and try. 

Have a great weekend!

Anthony

***I told Moise you still didn’t do this at work.  He said I only have 2 hands.  My solution was maybe you should grow a 3rd hand (he was not happy with that comment) but then instead of your hands doing 50/50 of the work you could do 33.3/33.3/33.3.  Today’s Friday Email is all about 50/50.  Have a great weekend!***

The world is full of 50/50 situations where half the people like something and the other half don’t.  For instance, 50% of kids are happy that school is back while 50% aren’t (ok that one might be more like 20% happy and 80% not happy).  Junior showed us a story about where this guy and girl broke up.  But the father texted the guy and said I heard you broke up with my daughter, but why did you cut me off your Netflix Account?  I’m just an innocent casualty.  A lot more than 50% of comments on social media supported him and said he should be kept on the guy’s Netflix Account (He didn’t do anything wrong).  There’s less than a 50/50 chance when you go to Urgent Care that they’re going to help you.  I went there last week for a poison ivy diagnosis and prescription.  This other patient wanted to go in, but they were closed.  It’s 8:59 and they open at 9.  He said I guess if it’s before 9 it isn’t so urgent.  Then we must sign in and he’s not happy about it.  He said what if I am bleeding.  I told him you still have to sign in, and you can sign your name in blood.  Moise hears my car making a noise.  He says your car is not good.  My answer was no Moise that’s because the road is bumpy.  There’s a 50/50 chance that I’m right or you’re right (but less than a 50% chance of Moise getting me a new car).  I texted Moise on my way to work if he wanted a coffee.  No response. I got to the office, and he just saw the text while we were both at our desks, and he texted back “Yes” (there was a 100% chance he would say that) but I’m already here Moise and I’m not going back to get you coffee.  I told Junior I saw a baby coyote, and he said you better stay away from the parents (better than 50% chance they’ll attack).  But I think there’s far less than a 50/50 chance Junior would help me from a coyote attack.  Moise asked me something, I told him how to do it, and he said I got it.  I said a correction I got it for you.  He said yeah, you got it alright (that sounded 100% sarcastic not 50%).  Moise’s friend “mechanic” Doctor Joe called and said he had car trouble.  He said he took a big knife and tried to cut part of his belt that was making too much noise (stopping the noise was 100% successful) but now he was having trouble driving it on the parkway (I could picture him using a Michael Myer’s huge knife to do this).  Joshua wanted me to hold his juice box while he jumped on his trampoline (at least I made myself useful).  There’s a better than 50/50 chance I took a sip of that juice box when Joshua offered it to me.  Abby taught me how to use a hula hoop.  I still didn’t do it as well as her, but it was better than my first attempt when I tried to teach her how to do it (I’m glad that was not recorded for purposes of being put on YouTube).  Now when it comes to doing your timesheet, just remember doing your timesheet should be easier than using a hula hoop (at least it is for me).  Please do your timesheet on time today and remember if you think you’re too old for a juice box and a hula hoop than you just aren’t living your life to its fullest.

Have a great weekend!

Anthony

***If you ever play a game with a pair of dice and roll two ones it’s referred to as “Snake Eyes.”  The much tamer figurative meaning of it but in today’s Friday Email we find a real snake (no not Junior) in “Snake Eyes.” Have a great weekend!***

Some people like snakes.  Others don’t.  And still others would drive to another town if they even heard there was a snake nearby.  I’m on the train after a Yankees game, and people are standing because there aren’t enough seats (not even enough room for a snake on that train).  Meanwhile someone is sitting in a seat with her big bag taking up another seat.  I guess she was saving the extra seat for her bag (not for a snake and definitely not for me).  I saw this elderly couple.  The guy could barely walk; however, he made the effort to hold the door for his wife.  1 week later I saw a similar situation but totally different couple the wife asks me to call her husband for her as she wants to choke him (worse than a snake wrapped around your neck would choke him) because he drove off with her phone in his car.  The latter sounds more like the relationships I’ve had.  I came in last week on Monday and told Junior I had bad news.  He said what is it?  I said Moise is not here this week.  He said what’s the bad news.  Well, the snake that would be in the building later in the week would be bad news for you Junior as we’ll find out soon.  Junior was saying how he doesn’t like things that complicate his life.  I said like me?  He said an excellent example.  Maybe I should have asked like snakes?  I called Moise and Joshua and Abby take over the call while Moise was able to talk 0% (that’s normal).  Abby asked why I’m calling her dad.  I guess that I must give the boss a reason for my call.  Someone typed “Moise” to send him an email, and it came up as “Mouse” (far less dangerous than a snake).  I was ordering lunch and asked Junior if he wanted me to pick up something for him (let me be clear not to pay for him, but I can pick it up at least).  He says nah this guy who works there touches the money and then touches the food.  You may want to be quiet Junior; I’m calling the money/food toucher now.  He hears the guy on the phone and says that’s him!  At least they don’t have snakes roaming around trying to get to your sandwich at this place Junior (or so I hope). Last week we heard there was a snake in the building.  And the story went around the building from its a tiny little thing to a giant venomous snake.  I saw a picture of it, and it looked big so I told Junior can you believe it?  And he says no way.  I say yes way.  Junior was ready to evacuate the building (along with others including myself) if this snake was what I was picturing.  But then I saw it in person as it was “captured” and “released” by a local Savin employee hero, and it wasn’t the huge python I was envisioning.  Moise said Junior is a chicken but then again, the days the snake was around Moise was on vacation miles away from it, so it’s easy to talk a big game from a safe distance Moise.  Now when it comes to doing your timesheet, just remember it’s all fun and games until you stare at a venomous snake in the eyes or until you stare into my eyes on Monday after not doing your timesheet.  Please do your timesheet on time today and remember if you have a pet snake then don’t invite Junior to your home.

Have a great weekend.

Anthony

***Moise said something good about me and Junior interrupted him and said don’t make Anthony sound like a good person (we would not want that misconception to spread around).  Today’s Friday Email is all about “Misconceptions.” Have a great weekend!***

There are a lot of misconceptions like everyone believes everything they see posted on social media as fact (social media is not nearly as factual as the Friday Email is).  This driver was about to turn on my road. We both had stop signs.  I stopped (well sort of half stopped) and she did the same.  She pulled her car up next to me looked at me in this way that if looks could kill, I’d have been dead on the spot.  I guess she had the misconception that she stopped but she didn’t just like I didn’t.  I stared back at her and said some words to her that are not “Friday Email Appropriate.” I made sure there was no misconception about what I said to her (maybe Junior was right in the heading of not wanting to make me sound like a good person).  Moise was saying if he calls this person now, they will get mad.  Why hesitate Moise?  If it was Junior, you’d call so quickly and take enjoyment out of it. There is no misconception that Moise takes more enjoyment out of making Junior mad than anyone else.  Moise tells Junior something he did.  It wasn’t the greatest thing to do.  Junior says that’s not surprising.  There is no misconception of Junior’s (low) expectations of Moise or myself.  Moise and I were moving boxes at Savin.  Four boxes.  I took one of the four.  He says three for me.  I groaned and said give me a second box then.  I do not want there to be a misconception that I’m making you do all the heavy lifting (even though that was my original plan).  I see the first box looks like the lightest of the three remaining; he skips over it, grabs the heaviest box, and dumps it on me (I guess that’s retaliation for me originally wanting him to take 3 of the boxes).  We bring the boxes to the back.  Moise locks us out of the back of the building, and we have to walk all the way around the building to get back in.  If you saw us, there may have been a misconception that we were just taking a walk on a nice Wednesday morning when we just locked ourselves out of the building.  Moise said he had some work to do, but I could come over and babysit the kids.  Sure.  I’ll babysit them while you’re busy or maybe more accurately, they’ll babysit me.  Abby showed me her muscles and lifted a carriage.  Maybe you should have come to work and helped lift some boxes with us instead.  Joshua took my nose off my face. There is no misconception; you do not want this nose.  Moise comes in and sees me tired a little and says I thought you wanted to babysit.  I did Moise until either they fought, cried or I got tired (the latter happened first in this case).  Abby wanted to play “Monsters” which we play often.  I got to be the monster (lucky me). She offered me (the monster) a pancake (I thought as a form of bribery not to go after her).  I told her monsters don’t eat pancakes (that’s a misconception) and they eat little kids.  That didn’t even scare her a little; she simply asked why pancakes aren’t good for monsters?  I do not know too many carbs?   Now when it comes to doing your timesheet, there are no misconceptions that you should be doing it on Fridays.  Please do your timesheet on time today and remember if you thought the misconception of monsters eating kids would scare them then you haven’t met Abby yet. 

Have a great weekend!

Anthony

***I had a filling come out, so the dentist had to drill it back in.  As I lay there, I realized that the drill (although not fun and games) was not nearly as painful as the number of emails I was getting that day from everyone at Savin.  Today’s Friday Email is all about “Fun & Games.” Have a great weekend!***

Life isn’t always all fun and games, but a lot of times it can be if you make it that way.  I had to go to the doctor for this nasty looking bite/rash on my leg that was expanding seemingly by the hour.  They wanted to send me to the emergency room first.  I went to the emergency room last year for a fall I had do I really want to be making this an annual trip like it’s all fun and games visiting the ER?  The nurse said my blood pressure was normal.  At first, I was glad but then realized nobody ever called me normal before, so I felt slightly offended.  And then asking me how tall am I?  What does that have to do with the giant bruise on my knee?  Is this for like a dating website or something?  If so, I’ll say I’m an inch taller than I am like everyone else does there.  Maybe you should look at how tall the infection is instead of playing games asking me about my height?  I knew wearing shorts Joshua and Abby would question it, and they did.  Abby wanted to touch the bruise and then said “eww it’s gross.”  Yes, it is Abby, it’s not all fun and games.  Moise asked me something.  I just said what?  He asked again.  I said what?  I’m not sure what your question is, not just fun and games.  He says don’t say what what what when I ask something.  What do you want me to say no?  We were on the phone with Junior.  You know sometimes a conversation just isn’t going well?  Moise gave me the cutthroat sign to hang up before he got mad at him.  It was all fun and games, but why couldn’t the conversation end on a positive note? Moise asked me to check something but first I had to make a comment (I couldn’t help myself) and I said why did I have to make a comment?  He said that’s what you do.  Moise said good thing his flight was delayed till 8 (2-hour delay) because he never made it by 6 (it’s all fun and games poking fun at Moise’s tardiness).  Moise was scrolling on his phone looking for an appointment he had.  I said look in your calendar, but he looked in his email.  I said I thought you were organized then remembered it was you.  My friend accidentally left with my phone and left her phone with me.  By the time I realized it, she was home, so I said just swap it tomorrow when you’re around.  I forgot though 5:30AM Disturbed would be blasting and wake her up.  And she couldn’t turn it off.  Well, it’s all fun and games till you hear loud music at that time in the morning.  Junior was having coffee and yogurt together but then questioned himself.  Do they go together?  Junior said that the sound of Moise’s voice irritates him (ironically it is soothing to me).  Abby knows what Tik Tok is.  I told her you’re too little for Tik Tok.  She said no, she’s too big for Tik Tok.  I think she’s right.  Now Joshua and Abby had this game they wanted to play on Moise’s phone.  “Race Master.” It’s a fun racing game.  So fun in fact that I downloaded it and played it on my phone.  Moise says you want to play this too?  It’s a fun game, Moise, of course I do.  Now when it comes to doing your timesheet just remember it’s not all fun and games (unlike “Race Master”).  Please do your timesheet on time today and remember if you want a good game to download on your phone try “Race Master.”

Have a great weekend!

Anthony

***Everyone comes to the recognition that it’s time to do their timesheet when the Friday Email goes out (except those who still somehow always “forget”).  Today’s Friday Email is all about “Recognition.” Have a great weekend!***

Many people want to be famous and be recognized.  My friend said she met someone and thought he was “lovely.” I said I don’t think anyone ever described me as lovely before.  Maybe they just don’t recognize my lovely side.  This lady at the bakery said she knows my uncle.  She recognized me, she said.  One thing you should recognize is that I’m a better tipper than he is (not that is that difficult to be).  Moise said he has 143 and minus 40 he’ll have 200.  It was really hot in the room that day (as we’ll find out below), so I sat there thinking he was right and then I recognized that math made 0 sense when Junior started laughing at Moise.  Junior said he recognized his 2 neighbors (on both sides) of him are serious about keeping their yard ultra neat.  He said he recognizes he has to keep up somewhat, or he could look like that guy in the middle who makes the whole neighborhood look worse.  Joshua recognized that one of the monsters I showed him in a picture was crying.  He said why?  I said because he didn’t eat his vegetables, so you better recognize you need to eat yours.  Moise comes in and says hey to everyone (not good morning) and Junior ignores him.  Recognize Junior wants a good morning.  Junior goes into a speech.  I gave up on Anthony.  He has no manners.  He comes in and randomly starts talking like we’re in mid-conversation first thing in the morning.  I recognize that is true Junior.  Moise says I don’t want to sound stupid in this email.  He asked me to read what he wrote. Uh Moise please recognize that sounding stupid is my specialty.  You’ve read enough Friday Emails to know that.  Junior sees me toasting something.  I said this is just a snack Junior.  He says why do you need a snack?  You’re a grown man.  10 minutes later Jealous Junior sees me with my snack and says oh man I need to bring a snack.  I’m sorry Junior, do you recognize you just criticized me for having one 10 minutes ago?  Johsua and Abby said they wanted to go to the library on Saturday and claimed they wanted to “read” there (mind you there is a room full of toys in this library).  Moise said repeat after me “We are going to read at the library.” They both repeated it (but not very convincingly at all).  Monday – 80 degrees in the office.  A/C not working.  Wearing short sleeves on Tuesday is the advice we are given.  I don’t trust it and dress in long sleeves.  I walk in Tuesday and it’s 60 degrees freezing.  I texted Junior to make sure you wear short sleeves, it’s so hot in here.  He walked in (unfortunately was already on his way dressed in long sleeves when I texted) and was not happy with me.  He said why would you send a text like that to me?  It’s freezing in here.  I may need a jacket.  I guess he recognized how cold it was very quickly and to never trust me.  Now when it comes to doing your timesheet, I hope you recognize that whether you’re sweating in the humidity or freezing in the a/c that you still have to do it.  Please do your timesheet on time today and remember if you think I take joy in messing with Junior then you would be correct.

Have a great weekend!
Anthony

***Last week I told someone something about me and their response was “That’s the one thing I like about you.” Wait only ONE thing?  Take your time and try to at least find a second thing.  Today’s Friday Email is all about “Take Your Time.”  Have a great weekend!***

We are all in a rush most of the time.  We’re all busy but it’s nice to find calmer times in life where you can slow down and take your time.  One of those times is not when you’re driving in front of me though.  If you want to take your time, go for a walk at a park or go sit at a diner but do not hold up traffic because you have nothing better to do than drive 10MPH.  I held the door for someone next thing I know 7 people later I’m still holding the door.  Take your time coming in while I am a doorman and feel free to leave a tip while you’re at it. I read that the probability of being born was 1 in 400 trillion.  I guess the other 399,999,999,999,999 people that I could have been didn’t make it since it took this much time to get to the 400 trillionth person I turned out to be.  Junior was drinking his coffee at work and noticed a hair in it.  Junior wasn’t sure if he should drink it.  Well Junior you just made the coffee and me and you were the only ones in the kitchen and between us there isn’t a ton of hairs on our heads so take your time and drink your coffee and realize it’s not an outsider’s hair at least.  Moise said the computer was moving slowly (it was taking its time).  I suggested that maybe the person using it is the problem.  He didn’t like that.  He says when you rush, it wants to go slower.  It knows when to frustrate you.  It has a mind of its own.  Well, it hears you criticizing it and is purposely taking its time now.  Abby took her time to sing “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” to me.  It was impressive, I must say.  Someone told me and Junior that we have the same haircut.  Take your time to realize that’s not too hard to notice (and still try to figure out which one’s hair fell in Junior’s coffee).  I told Moise something he didn’t want to hear.  He said no, don’t say that.  Okay, I won’t say that Moise I’ll take my time to say something worse.  Moise was adding 2 + 2 + 3 on his calculator.  Me sitting there waiting to make a comment.  He says something is off.  Take your time, Moise.  Let’s call Abby; she can add these numbers without a calculator.  Junior says a big bug is back here.  Next thing I hear is “whack, whack.”  Take your time to say your condolences to the bug’s family and friends.  I saw someone in the pouring rain walking without an umbrella and let them know I respected that.  Take your time and get wet.  You won’t melt.  Moise can’t find an answer to a problem.  Moise called Junior.  He didn’t answer.  Later, Moise said Junior didn’t even call me back.  Then he said let me check first before I bash him (checks phone calls) nope he didn’t call back.  Take your time to bash him Moise and check if he called back first.  I was talking with someone about how some people change sometimes.  I said well Junior hates me, but he knows what he’s getting with me daily at least.  Joshua wasn’t happy that Moise and I were talking.  He wanted to talk to me.  Moise when will you realize the world doesn’t revolve around us?  It revolves around Joshua and Abby.  Abby told me Scooby Doo eats these fruit snacks, so she handed me a package and told me to give them to my dog Damian.  They’re good for him, she said.  Uh let me take my time and read the label if these are FDA approved for dogs Abby.  Now when it comes to doing your timesheet, you want to take your time to do it right the first time.  Please do your timesheet on time today and remember if your dog is hungry, Abby has some fruit snacks to hand out because Scooby Doo eats them too.

Have a great weekend!

Anthony

Moise said he taught me about the stock market.  If you prefer to believe that total lie Moise you can, however, I believe the only “Apple” you know is the red one that the doctors tell you to eat.  Today’s Friday Email is all about “Preferences.” Have a great weekend!***

We all have different preferences in life.  Some people prefer coffee and others prefer tea (even if I have the worst cold, I’d never drink tea).  I ran into someone with her dogs.  They were friendly with Damian but not with me.  I guess those dogs prefer dogs over people (can’t say I blame them).  I knew Moise didn’t start something, so I asked him purposely how much did you do of this work yet?  He made a hand circling motion saying “0”.  I guess he prefers to use hand signals.  I thought he was making a circular motion with his finger at his head saying I’m crazy.  Junior was saying there’s a 75% chance that Moise would miss his flight.  Moise didn’t respond.  I think he prefers to stay silent when he admits guilt.  Moise typed he is not sorry for something but meant to type he was sorry.  Well, Moise maybe you weren’t sorry and that’s why your fingers preferred to type that instead.  I called Moise “Junior” and then realized that was a bit insulting.  Abby called Moise at work.  Abby wanted to know how it was going.  Moise says good working so I can buy you stuff.  I’m thinking Abby will say oh like a box of cookies great.  But instead, Abby says a new dress?  I guess Abby prefers a dress over something less expensive, like a box of cookies.  You had better get the shoes and bag to go with that dress Moise.  I called Moise but of course wound up talking to Abby.  After a 5-minute conversation, Moise says, are you done talking to Abby?  I prefer to talk to Abby, but the real question Moise is whether Abby is done with me.  Moise was calling a Savin employee.  They wouldn’t answer.  Maybe their preference is talking to me, and they knew you were calling?  Joshua and I were watching Garfield.  Abby said Garfield eats pasta with sausage, potatoes, and ketchup.  Garfield’s preference for food is a strange mixture, Abby.  Moise said Junior you have no patience.  With you Moise he has no patience he prefers someone who doesn’t drive him crazy.  Abby had her hair up, and it looked good.  I said do mine like that but then I realized I don’t have quite enough hair for that hairstyle.  Joshua showed me his and Abby’s new beds.  Abby said they are big kids now having their new beds.  She asked me if I’m a big kid.  Abby…I think everyone knows the answer to that question.  Yes, I’m a big kid.  If you prefer, you can ask Junior to confirm this.  Moise was on the phone, and I tell him ok I have to go.  I go about my business with my phone and then realize 5 minutes later I never hung up.  I said you’re still there.  He said yes, I want to see if you say anything bad about me.  Oh well, I prefer to say the bad stuff to your face.  Abby dressed up as a doctor at the library and was giving me a checkup.  She gave me her business card.  I was trying to read a book in the library, and she told me that was mean.  Since when did the library become about playing with toys instead of reading?  I must be getting old.  Now when it comes to doing your timesheet, just remember you can do your timesheet in the library if you want on a computer while you’re doing work, but Abby may consider that mean too.  Please do your timesheet on time today and remember if you visit your local library make sure you play with the toys and don’t get distracted by the books.

Have a great weekend!

Anthony

***Over the years there have been some strange Friday Email titles but maybe none stranger (yet oddly intriguing) than today’s title “Monster Heaven.” Have a great weekend!***

Sometimes we think we know everything, but kids teach us that we don’t.  Every time I see Joshua and Abby, I feel like I learn more from them than them from me.  Recently we had a discussion about heaven, and it led to me learning about “Monster Heaven.”  I’ll get to that at the end of this, but I was thinking recently how a lot of times life feels like a multiple-choice test.  In almost every situation you have 4 options on what you could say.  The first Option (A) is the one you should absolutely not say but normally that’s the option that I feel has the most truth in it so I just say it.  Option (B) is a slightly watered down version of Option (A) but still not exactly the right way to say something, but I’ll say it to slightly sugarcoat what I said after I realize Option (A) was really off the walls (even though it was still my most honest option on what I think).  Option (C) is just an in-between option that many people will use (almost like being neutral on something), but I never use it because I don’t feel it.  Option (D) is the right option (politically correct) thing to say, and I never use that option.  I hope that my way of expressing myself incorrectly sometimes is not held against me in Monster (or any other) Heaven.  Moise was trying to find a vendor in the system and typed the name 10 times, and it wouldn’t come up.  He said oh I forgot to leave a space between the 2 words.  Spaces make all the difference Moise. Moise was saying anyone who does this is stupid.  But Moise you do it.  He said exactly.  Well, he made his point and used himself as an example.  When I was trying to explain something to Junior he said I was bumbling and fumbling my words.  Moise was not happy at something I said and told me no don’t be serious.  Don’t be serious?  That’s easy for me Moise.  Junior said he was going to go rehearse his singing.  From what my ears hear (and the monsters in Monster Heaven probably hear) it needs a lot of work Junior.  Trust me.  Like a lot.  Moise said he had a class with his sister, she got an A and he got a C.  I said why didn’t you sit next to her so you could cheat off her?  He said the teacher knew they were siblings, so she made them sit across the room from each other (knowing his sister she’d say Moise do your own work).  Joshua and Abby were looking at my phone and saw a picture of my first Boston Terrier Nitro on my couch.  Abby wanted to know why she didn’t meet him.  I struggled with how to explain this to her for several seconds and then (as Abby always does) she saved her best comment by asking me if he’s in doggie heaven?  I said yes and then Joshua wanted to know if the couch that Nitro was on is also in Doggie Heaven.  I mean I’m sure they have couches there (probably much more comfortable than the ones we have here).  And Joshua said he wanted to see Monster Heaven.  I spent the time to google this for Joshua and came up with an interesting photo with all monsters together in heaven.  He seemed like he loved it, but I advised him their monsters Joshua stay away.  Now when it comes to doing your timesheet, you don’t want the monsters in Monster Heaven to come after you, so please do your timesheet on time today and remember if you never knew Monster Heaven was a thing well that makes 2 of us.

Have a great weekend.

Anthony

***Last week one day Moise said time for breakfast (it was 4PM).  Junior said Moise has no sense of timing.  Maybe Moise just wanted to save his breakfast for dinner.  Today’s Friday Email is all about “Saving Vs. Spending.” Have a great weekend!***

There’s always a delicate balance in how much money you should save vs. how much money should you spend.  This guy comes to my home and I open the door.  He immediately begins babbling and right away you know it’s a sales thing.  I stare at him and am about to cut him off, but he keeps going on and on like this is a speed talk contest and he knows why because the second he stops talking to breathe I’m going to tell him I’m not interested.  But finally, I cut him off and said I’m busy right now.  He says can I come back later?  I said No.  He should have saved his breath.  Junior told Moise to bring his big, beautiful brain over for some assistance.  Moise said Junior must want money from me to say this.  Save the compliments, Junior.  Moise was questioning something he did.  I said it’s ok you are allowed to make a mistake (I spend so much time criticizing I might as well be supportive)…but then I said you make plenty of them.  I should have stopped before the last part.  Junior was calling across the room if I’m here.  I say yes.  He says are you here?  If I am not here but I’m answering there’s some ghost thing going on.  I typed “disgust” instead of “discuss” to someone (luckily, I saved myself by not clicking send before correcting it or they would think I’m disgusted by them). Moise said he had to get somewhere by 5.  I looked at the clock.  It’s 5:30 and you haven’t left yet, Moise.  He says ok hopefully for 6 (save yourself from getting a speeding ticket).  Junior was walking back to our office ahead of me and says I’m not holding the door for you and lets it go to close before I get there.  At least he saved me the thought he might hold it by warning me he wouldn’t.  Junior was saying to Moise I want to pick your brain.  I asked how come you never ask to pick my brain Junior?  He laughed and said no comment (he saved us all the comment we knew he wanted to say).  I told Joshua it was my mom’s birthday, and he started singing happy birthday to Anthony’s mom (very catchy but not quite as spectacular as his “Michael Jackson” moves he shows me).  Abby and Joshua questioned my iced mocha. They were making fun of it and said it was too dark to drink. They tasted it and said it was disgusting. I saved myself $7 for that iced mocha, and you 2 are criticizing it.  Junior had a picture of an animal in his yard and asked our mail guy Hugo, is this a deer or a coyote?  I was looking at it too and Hugo says this is what you guys do at work.  I need to come work here.  He said he thought this was an engineering company.  Hugo got jokes.  Well Hugo, we do everything here all kinds of engineering, as well as help figure out what animal is what (like Abby does when she shows me her animal book).  Now when it comes to doing your timesheet, just remember I always save the reminder to be sent out on Friday on the day you’re supposed to do your timesheet.  Please do your timesheet on time today and remember if you’re good at telling the difference between coyotes and deer, please contact Junior to assist him.

Have a great weekend!

Anthony