**I wonder if Junior would ever negotiate with me to say nice things about him in the Friday Email.  I drive a hard bargain Junior so start the negotiations at 3 0’s at the end of your first offer.  Today’s Friday Email is all about “Negotiations.”  Have a great weekend!***

We all have to make negotiations sometimes.  I found out a bee’s life is only 6 weeks long.  What the heck?  They should negotiate for a longer life span.  No wonder they are not afraid to try to sting you (which I think kills them) because they don’t have long to live anyway so it’s worth the risk.  Junior never negotiates whether to blame me or Moise.  He just blames both of us simultaneously. Junior said look at how you left this drawer.  You and Moise.  You guys left it open.  He said I left it the way it was after I left, and you guys didn’t close it.  Junior said to Moise I will sell you my car for 20K (let the negotiation begin).  Moise said wait what car (as in your car isn’t even worth half of that)?  Junior said ok fine 16K.  Moise said you didn’t even pay 16K when you bought it years ago.  Moise’s counteroffer?  4K.  Junior’s counteroffer?  22K.  Wait how did the deal go higher from the original offer Junior?  I told Moise at least you got an offer.  Moise said that isn’t an offer.  It’s an insult.  I was given a gift by someone, but I said I’m not going to use it.  Junior said if you don’t want it, I will take it.  I said Nah I’ll do something with it I guess.  A minute later I asked Moise if he wanted it.  He accepted.  Junior got mad.  Junior said I have known you for longer.  You’re telling me you like him more than me?  Junior the length of time you know someone doesn’t mean you like them more.  Several minutes later (after I thought we had moved on from this) Junior says I can’t believe you prioritize Moise over me.  Moise said ok Junior, I will give to you what Anthony gave me a few minutes ago (that’s nice of you Moise). He says $25 (so much for the nice part let the negotiations begin).  Wait, Junior could have had it for free and you’re charging him Moise?  Ok Moise says $20 ($5 sale he says).  That comment from Moise ended the negotiation with a sigh from Junior.  Junior got his physical and the doctor said he’s healthy.  Moise said stand this way, put your arms up, ok you’re good.  Dr. Moise doesn’t negotiate Junior.  He wants cash from you for his medical expertise.  I was trying to negotiate running in the dark and took a misstep, so I fell hard.  My face looked like someone hit me under my eye (*ahem* Junior?) among all the other parts of me I banged up.  Junior said why don’t you cover up your face?  Junior said you don’t look pretty like that, but I told him I didn’t look pretty before the fall so what’s the difference now?  When my mom saw me after I picked up Damian from her house her comment to me was “Did you fall, or did you get into a fight?”  I said I fell why would I get into a fight what am I a kid in school.  I said obviously I fell.  My mom is not the type of person who will negotiate how she feels about something. She will tell you very bluntly.  Her response to me was you say a lot of stupid things, so I figured someone had enough of you and did that to you.  If you were ever wondering if the Friday Email is a representation of my true self, I guess my mom confirmed it.  Now when it comes to doing your timesheet just remember I don’t want to negotiate for you to do it.  Please do your timesheet on time today and remember if you agree with my mom’s assessment of me then I don’t blame you. 

Have a great weekend!

Anthony